Road Trip to North Carolina: Part 1

So about two weeks ago I was sitting at my desk at work in Manhattan, feeling sorry for myself. I'd absolutely had it with everything and I just couldn't stand another second of my miserable life. Instead of jumping out the window from the 38th floor of a skyscraper, I did what any sane, normal person would do: ROAD TRIP!

I used to do these occasionally when I was younger and didn't have any responsibilities. Just pick up and leave and go somewhere, anywhere.... just away from the problem to sort through everything and come up with a solution. This has been a weird summer for Onil and I, and top of the list for me is that we're two years and counting that he doesn't have a job and that the financial burden for our family rests solely on me. We're doing alright, but I just want to quit my job and go home in the worst way. I hate living with my in-laws during the week.

I decided that I would go to Brevard, North Carolina. I'd never been there before. I only knew about it because I'm in an RP where two of my characters are from Brevard. (For those who don't know, an RP is a message board where you write as characters -- either made up or from a tv show or movie -- with other people to create a story. The best way I've heard it described is a living novel.) When I made up these characters I'd never heard of Brevard. I wanted them to be from one of the Carolinas and I wanted them to be from the mountains, and Brevard fit the bill on both counts. Over the past year I've been getting the itch to see the place I'm writing about, and so this past Labor Day weekend I decided I would take a road trip there.

I was going to do this all on my own. No husband, no kids, just me and a tent. I made a reservation at a campground and another one to go horse-back riding in the mountains on Monday morning. I left work on Friday intending to stop at the Walmart in Ephrata and then continue on down to NC, only stopping to catch catnaps on the road. But somewhere outside of the Lincoln Tunnel I had a change of heart and I realized that what was really needed was for Onil and I to get away together, away from the television and the computer, and hash everything out.

Y'all (and I can say that now that I've been in the South), I'm really glad I did.

Onil and I talked about a lot before we even left the apartment and came to an understanding of sorts. We were going to try to sleep a little but wound up hitting the road at 12:45 a.m. on Saturday. We stopped in Virginia at about 4 in the morning to sleep and then got back on the road. We reached our destination at 11:30 a.m. For not having been to Brevard before, I really loved it. It's a little town, kinda touristy, I suppose. The real draw is the Pisgah Forest which surrounds it. I had no idea the mountains in North Carolina looked like that. In Pennsylvania the highest point is 3,200 feet, but Mt. Pisgah alone is 5,700 feet, and that's not even the tallest point in the state. It was a beautiful place and I was sorry to leave.

Onil and I had a great time. We drove around to look at the scenery, went hiking, slept out in the woods, star-gazed, and ate awesome food. This was Onil's first experience with camping and he seemed to really like it. I was very proud when my boy from NYC made his first campfire. He started it Sunday afternoon and we kept it going until we left on Monday night. Most importantly, the two of us got away by ourselves and reconnected. We didn't realize until we were actually in NC that we'd never been away together, not even for our honeymoon (we just stayed in our apartment in PA for that).

I have a bunch of pictures to sort through and I want to do it this weekend, but I just wanted to update here to talk about our trip. Sorry this was so wordy, but there was a lot to say! Here are a couple of pictures:

Letters to Camp, Part 1

Every summer Amy and Anna go to sleepaway camp at Mt. Gilead in the Pocono mountains of Pennsylvania. And every summer, without fail, Onil writes them the best letters ever. After years of laughing hysterically at these letters I finally decided to post them here to share them with you and to save them for posterity. He wrote three letters each. Sometimes he draws things and when I get into work I'll scan and post them here. Here are Amy's:

'Sup Amy?

Are you maxing and/or relaxing all day long? Any good Bible verses this year? Ooh! I hope you guys get parables!! Whenever you see the Lil' Lord, don't forget to remind her she has to poop at camp. For the both of you. If she doesn't poop you're BOTH grounded.

I'm writing this letter before we go to your Grammy's party in Virginia so I'm gonna do radio psychic. I predict you will poop your pants. I will have three pieces of cake, your mom will be all cranky by 12:15 and she will say chillax at least 37 times.

You should tell some sweet scary stories at the campfire. I just made that up. I invented it. Tell the one with the dudes hiding underneath cars with the slicing and the heels and screaming.

More radio psychic: I predict I will have to stop myself from slapping your cousin at least six times and your mom will have food in her ear this time.

I can't wait to watch Stepbrothers. It's gonna be so awesome! Better than Iron Man even.

Anyways. Enjoy the rest of camp. Always be alert. Keep your head on a swivel looking out for ganados. They're everywhere!!

Sincerely,

Jens Lekman

P.S. It's really me, Onil.

P.P.S. You smell!

*****

Dear scheiße kopf,

Are you having a killer time at camp? We're having the bestest time ever without you. We went mini-golfing and skydiving and bull riding and wrote our names on cement and spray painted Mighty Horse on the Wilbur building and had Rita's Water Ice every day this weekend. So much fun! Cuz you suck!

Did anything scary happen yet? Have you seen any Jersey devils or Nessie?

There's supposed to be a solar eclipse this weekend but it's not visible in the northeast. And it's all your fault. Cuz you suck?

Todd and Kitty both pooped on your bed. They were high-fiving and laughing the whole time. Todd also farted on your pillow.

We also went to Berlin and spray-painted "Amy eats!" on the Berlin wall and had our own personal Oktoberfest with the Chancellor and Megatron and Daniel Hood. Daniel Hood says you suck. And he's gonna name a dragon after me.

Also I bought Halo 3, beat the game and sold it and used the money to make 10,000 flyers with your face photoshopped on a monkey's butt and then passed it out at your youth group. Good times.

We miss you both. Hope you're having fun!

Sincerely,
O to the Nil

P.S. Jog on!

*****

What's up, Vanilla Face?

Can you believe it's camp time again? Time sure does fly when you're a buttbag. Your camp deserves a better class of buttbag. And you're gonna give it to them.

Are you enjoying the mandatory fun activities? Funtivities!! Are there sing-alongs? Maybe you can sing the Karate Kid song for everyone.

How are the horses this year? Maybe you can do some jumps. You can get like three feet of air if you try hard enough.

Do try to write to your mommy. She will cry like a fart face if you don't.

Remember the time you cracked everyone up with your purple feety pajamas? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Good times. Hold on, still laughing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh my sides.

Scout out the berries while you're there. I wanna know where all the good spots are as soon as I get there. Mmmmm.... berries.

Also I hate your fat cat. He has become the bane of my existence, my nemesis. He is a total jerk. He is the engine of chaos. Some fat cats just want to see the world burn.

Don't lose your Transformers towel or else we will destroy you. DESTROY!! >:(

Last of all. Don't forget to have a good time. Have a pleasant demeanor always. If you start to feel down, just ask yourself: Why so serious?

Your friend in Christ,
Onil_1

P.S. I believe in Amy Fartface.

*****

Here's a letter from me:

Dear Amy,

Hello from my air conditioned living room, where I am rocking out to sweet tunes and surfing the nets! It's as awesome as you're imagining. How about you? How many bug bites have you gotten? Are you rocking out to sweet tunes as well? Do you get to see cool videos?

I asked my good friend Thundercrackers if he would swing by and check on you this week. He said something about terrorism and then gave me the finger, so I guess he's not going to. That's what I get for asking a Decepticon. Maybe Bumblebee will do it.

Speaking of flipping people off, our friend in the PT Cruiser sends his regards.

Speaking of saying hi, Colin Meloy says hi and he wants you to know that he loves your mom. <3

I hope you're getting to be a corral-aide. I haven't talked to Shirley yet so I don't know. How many bracelets have you made for Onil?

We went to see Stepbrothers yesterday (you're not allowed to see it -- weiners) and then to Five Guys for dinner. Yes! It was awesome.

Sincerely,
[full signature]

P.S. I had to ask Onil if Thundercrackers was a Decepticon. Of course he knew. Because he's a NERD.

Swear to me, buttbags!

Along with pretty much everyone else in the country, we were swept up by Joker-mania this past weekend. It started with a midnight showing of The Dark Knight which was a lot of fun. We all four of us went in our pyjamas. It was great to actually have a halfway fun audience in Lititz to watch a movie with. Of course, half of them were drunk teens sneaking swigs of Boone's Farm but still the audience wasn't just the same old boring hohum squares.

We loved the movie so much we had to go back on Saturday for the matinee. It was a great capper for the summer '08 movie season.

Summertime.... and the living is easy

June has been a quiet month for us. It started off with my niece's wedding (sort of -- she's been married for a year already and so the wedding ceremony was completely superfluous, but it was fun anyway) and has kind of meandered along. I turned 44 on June 3 and it wasn't a great birthday, but I knew that going in. Every seven years since I was 16 I've had bad birthdays, and this year was it. I spent the day at home on the computer, which was fun, but what made it suck was that 1) I got my period, and 2) I had to have the car repaired to the tune of $362. On the plus side, I'm good now until I turn 51.

Despite a bang-up start to the month, we haven't done much. We've gone swimming in the lake. We've gone to see a lot of movies. We've had several barbecues. Other than that... not much.

The summer movies have been a mixed bag this year. Iron Man was awesome, as expected. It's my second favorite comic book movie ever, taking X-Men 2's spot (but not ousting Spider-Man 2 as the best comic book movie ever). Konkles of Nonya was great, thanks to acting powerhouse Peter Dinklage and a sexy hott Caspian. Speed Racer was dumb and flashy. Indiana Jones made me want to commit ritual seppuku because of the insanely stupid and unnecessary relationship with Karen Allen and the cutesy family angle. We've also seen The Happening, which has turned out to be the worst movie so far -- so bad it's good. Marky Mark has used up a huge chunk of Boogie Nights goodwill by not only being in this turdfest but also by his hilariously bad acting (to be fair, he didn't have much to work with -- the dialog was laughable). We also saw Wanted, and that was okay. Kinda dumb. Next up is Hancock and then Hellboy.

I sort of decided not to do One Local Summer this year. I had a lot of fun with it last year, but since I'm only home on the weekends I'm limited to only two nights in which to produce a local dinner. To tell you the truth, I've been feeling extraordinarily lazy (even lazier than usual) and half of the time I've been like, "Oh, let's just Five Guys it up tonight." So, unless Five Guys counts as local food, I'm afraid I have to bail on OLS this year.

This weekend is July 4th, so expect a forthcoming post in which we have an Americue, shoot off fireworks, and laugh at Fat Ringo.

Spider-Man Makes an Appearance in NYC! (Stan Lee is nowhere in sight.)

I don't know if anyone has seen this on the news, but I wanted to mention this because I saw it happen!

You all know that I work in Manhattan and I walk several blocks to and from the train station, straight down 8th Avenue. Last night as I was walking home I went past the Port Authority on 41st Street and everyone was standing around looking up at the New York Times Building across the street. I was like, What the hell is going on, and I looked up. Some dude was climbing up the thing! It was great, everyone was standing around with their cell phones, taking pictures. All the old ladies were like, "Oh! He's going to fall! I can't look." and all the dudes are like, "YEAH!" or "God, what a moron." When I got there he was at about the fourth or fifth floor. I kept walking, stopping occasionally to see how far he had gotten. By the time I got down to Herald Square (34th Street) he was nearly halfway up the building. From what I understand he made it and they arrested him.

This was the second time in one day that the building was climbed. Earlier in the day (and I don't know how I missed it, because I'm up on the 38th floor of my office building and I've got an excellent view of everything below 50th Street on the west side) the French Spider-Man climbed the building to promote awareness of global warming. He made it and was arrested. Later that same day the man I saw was climbing the building, I think in a copycat move. He didn't seem to be promoting anything in particular. Maybe he was high. I don't know.

I'm only surprised someone hasn't tried to climb the building before. It's got rungs going up the side of the building like a ladder. The thing is a big jungle gym, I don't know how anyone's resisted it until now.

Here's a link to a Yahoo article.

More catching up: The Franklin Institute

It's no secret we're all four of us a bunch of dorks. Amy and I, however, go above and beyond the other two in our dorkiness. Hence, our recent trip to The Franklin Institute in beautiful scenic Philadelphia for the exhibit titled, "Star Wars: Where Science Meets Imagination". We visited sans The Little Lord because she's a buttbag.

Basically, the exhibit had lots of Star Wars scale models, costumes and props tied together with the real world science principles that inspired the films' "science" principles. There was actually some interesting bits about the evolution of robots and artificial intelligence throughout the years. The exhibit was geared towards children so there lots of hands-on Mr. Wizard/Beakman's World type gadgets to play around with.

The movie costumes were actually very neat, as were the life sized replicas of some of the characters. It was interesting to see the details close-up.

All that is good and well but the real treat of the day for me and Amy was not the lightsabers and blasters behind a glass case. Nope. The best part of the day were the living breathing Storm Troopers courtesy of the 501st Legion. They had members of their group roaming around the place and taking pictures with anyone who asked. The funniest part was that more adults grown-up nerds than kids were asking for pictures. And not just the regular stand-next-to-you picture, the younger kids were happy with those. The hardcore older fans were asking the troopers to do all sorts of things like firing poses and pretending to be prisoners.

Amy and I (mostly Amy) had a field day posing with all the Storm Troopers and stray Jawas and Tusken raiders. The only one we missed was Boba Fett. We totally stalked him but he was off to his lunch break or something and wouldn't stop for pictures. Can't really blame the guy. I imagine he and Darth Vader would be the most mobbed of their group.

The highlight of the day was when Amy totally got groped by a Storm Trooper! She asked for a hug with her picture and the guy leaned in super super close and grabbed on extra tight. When it was my turn, the guy went back to his generic shoot-the-camera pose.

We also took the time to see some of the other sections of museum like the world famous giant heart you can walk through and the working locomotive.

It was a fun few hours on a Sunday afternoon.

Here is a Flicker set of the day.

Some catching up to do: Opening Day At Knoebels

This year's opening day at Knoebels was so much fun. It was one of the better times we've had at the park.

First of all, it was a beautiful day. There was rain expected but thankfully, it held out until we left the park. This year, the trees and flowers were all in bloom. So much so that it played hell on my allergies. My eyes were all bloodshot for the better part of the day but we didn't let that hamper our fun.

We got there around lunch time so that was the first order of business even before buying the all day passes. That's one of the better advantages of opening day. All day passes are buy one get one free. It's really quite a savings. We pretty much get to hit all the rides (except the haunted house - you still have to pay for that) multiple times. Faith and the girls rode both coasters twice in fact.

Speaking of the haunted house, there's a few new additions to it this year. Anna and I ended up going a couple of times in a row. She even persuaded Amy to go through but I don't know if Amy kept her eyes open or not.

The only rides not open were the Skloosh (still too cold for the major water ride) and the new Flying Turns ride because it's still under construction. We've been waiting over a year and a half for that thing. Hopefully, it'll be finished by the time we go back later this summer.

Knoebel's also has a mining museum because the land the park resides on was once part of a mining operation. For some reason, we've never gone in it before. The joke's on us, it was one of the funnest parts of the day. Many a dumb picture of us posing next to the strange exhibits were taken.

We always end the day on the train ride that goes through the woods. And this year because of the weight we've lost, Faith and I actually fit together in one of the cars comfortably. That was a pleasant surprise.

All in all, it was one of the better times I've had at the park.